The past 9 months

I have to share my story of God's blessing and goodness to me over the last 9 months.

When I was in college I wanted to be married so badly. A friend in all her godly wisdom asked me "What if you don't get married?" It hit me like a ton of bricks. I had always thought I would be married and had wanted to be in a relationship for so long.

As I grew in God, I gave him my desire for marriage and over the last couple of years found peace and sometimes joy in the fact that I might never marry. I realized that there were so many things I could do as a single person: I could go hiking when I wanted, I could volunteer as much as I wanted and I could do anything. I also harbored a few crushes a long the way, but nothing that grew.

In February, a guy named Jared came to SFC and started bring his roommate Bob to hang out after church and to SFC. I kept my distance from them and didn't really think about them. At the end of March, the guys were out of town at a friend's wedding and the girls were unavailable and I was feeling alone. I had sent out my SOS before church and after church convinced Jared and Tim to go to the Bayou with me. When we got there, I found out that Bob was also coming. I felt so much better at the Bayou and started having fun. When we walked out, Bob walked me to my car because he was parked by me. I made fun of his Iowa State flip flops he was wearing in the middle of winter. We realized we both had Momentum climbing passes and said we should start climbing together.

We did start climbing together because none of our SFC friends really climbed anymore. It was fun and the first time that I noticed Bob was when I stumbled off the wall and he caught me with his hand across my back. He said he started to notice me when I smiled at him. One night after climbing, we went to Culvers which was my new favorite. I found out that he wasn't a Christian and that Christians in his past had been hypocrites. After two invites to go to dinner with his family, I suspected something was going on. I declined, but I was nervous. So I talked to him about what he thought was going on. I told him nothing could happen because he wasn't a Christian and I loved God too much. I found out later that SFC was buzzing about us. In mid April, I invited Bob to Small Group at my house. I was nervous for him to come because Jared had said that he thought that small group would be too intense for Bob. Bob stayed the entire time and then came to House Church.

At different points, I liked Bob. At other points, I didn't because I had given him to God. Bob slowly pursued me and we had yet another talk at Culvers. Culvers was one of our favorite hangouts.

Tim instantly liked Bob which made me feel better. Tim has good instincts and has permission to speak into my life. In May, after a Small Group, Brian Mathison and Tim talked to Bob about salvation. Bob accepted Christ into his life and we celebrated by going to Culvers. Bob and I continued to climb and go to Culvers. We had an SFC birthday party for Bob at my house where we shared encouragement from our walks and also encouraged Bob.

In June, I continued to say that I didn't like Bob and that he needed time to grow. I still hung out with him and we went on a motorcycle ride (something that I have always considered a more intimate thing with guys) A few days before his birthday, Bob told me that he was going to help a friend on his birthday. I knew he had had other plans so I told him that he should do what he wants to do. He told me he wanted to go on a motorcycle ride and to dinner with me. During dinner, he talked about helping me move a stove into my house the next day but that he needed to work it around going climbing with one of our mutual friends. I was green with jealousy. I was hurt that he didn't ask me to climb and was wondering if something was going on. I had to text a friend in order to keep myself calm. After dinner he dropped me off at my place and walked me to the door. After he got home, he texted me to thank me for being a good friend. I freaked out. I didn't understand if he was telling me he only wanted to be friends or what. After an hour of torment, I texted him back a simple "?" His response was that I was someone he could talk to like Seth and Jared.

After not sleeping well all night, at work the next day I texted him to say that I didn't understand if I had said something to hurt him, but that he had hurt me. He said he wanted to talk about it so it didn't happen again. My last wall that I had built up against him was torn down. I had told God that I couldn't like Bob because he didn't communicate.

That night, June 21, he cancelled his plans for climbing and we picked up my oven. We headed over to Culvers and got food. Finally, I had to tell him that I thought I might have some feelings for him and that I wanted to see where it could go.

During that week, I was still pretty guarded, but we shared a few amazing nights. Right before my family reunion he asked if anything had changed, but I still felt God saying to stay where I was with him. On July 4th, I invited him to my family reunion baseball game. I held his hand and on the way home I knew something had changed. We had our first kiss that night. 3 days later, I left for Honduras. He took me to the airport and that is where everyone found out that we were seeing each other for the first time. We talked over fb chat and email while I was in Honduras and he picked me up at the airport. He had flowers and a card in the car. It was so sweet. The next night he picked me up to go watch the sun set. After a while I asked him if it meant we were officially dating and he said that is what he had told one of our friends that day.

Since then, our love has grown and our relationship has matured. We still have a lot to work out, but we go through things one by one and feel stronger afterwards. I can't believe how much I love this man. I had told God that I was happy if I was supposed to be single, but I believe he saw how much Bob and I could do together. Bob is my best friend, boyfriend and my future. I can't wait to serve God with him and to grow in God with him. We have done some great Bible studies together and challenged each other to budget. We have so much fun together whether it is shopping, road tripping or hanging out at home. I am blessed.