No Words

There are no words. I have been trying to figure out how I feel since Micah left the earth to celebrate with the Lord. I don’t know what I feel or how to express it. I can’t even bring myself to have a break down. I just feel at a loss. I know God is good. I know he strengthened my faith through the experience - but what else? What can I do to get healing from this? I admit, I didn’t visit Micah as much as I should have in the last year that he was in the hospital – I think that hurts the most. I am going to try to love all people so much more the way Micah did. He was such an example of how we should live out our faith. I am so glad I got to know him before the transplant and while he was in the hospital. Even when he was the sickest, he cared about the person in front of him.

I can’t believe how much emptier my life seems at the loss of this great friend. I feel like my world shrank. I can’t believe how many lives he impacted. What an amazing person full of grace. He always welcomed everyone around him. I always teased him about so many things and he just laughed. I remember when he came to the pool at the girls’ house. We were all in the pool and even though he had a drain in, he got his legs in the pool. He always found a way to hang out with us if he could. I remember laughing because he had his bag wrapped in bandanas and he was wearing his hat just sitting at the waters edge. Then of course he got roped into going and getting shakes with me all hyper. I probably drove him nuts because I was so impatient while we waited to get everyone’s ice cream. Yes, he did get a sundae for himself. He always snuck the foods he shouldn’t have had :)

He was always ready with his camera no matter what. At camp Utaba he was always walking around looking for a great picture instead of resting. We all were afraid for him to be away from the city and hospitals, but I think that was probably the place he needed to be at the most.

I don’t know why God’s timing is like this. I don’t know why he left us with a Micah sized hole in our hearts. I didn’t know a year and a half ago that Micah would impact my life so much or challenge me so much. I didn’t know that Micah would teach his medical team so much about love and God.

It was amazing to see his medical team at the funeral. They heard from the pastor the ultimate message Micah was demonstrating. Our trust must be in the Lord. We must be one with God, not merely work to please Him. Micah was probably smiling down as we all watched the Medical team getting applause then getting the gospel preached directly to them. I know God’s spirit led our pastors in their messages that day.

Micah you lived your life fully and I hope I can do at least a little of what you did in your short time on this earth. When you fought so hard to stay with us that last week, you made us all fall in love with your Mom and Grandpa. I think we even fell into a deeper relationship with God. You were the center of our Christian family. I think we are all jealous you made it to heaven first.

Most people knew that Micah was waiting on a miracle. I believe he did get that miracle. He woke up in heaven. He didn’t know that he had a second liver transplant or how much we fought with God to keep him here. I believe his miracle was heaven and his impact on all of us. Something someone prayed for was just that Micah would have a chance with another liver - he got that. Even if it seems strange, that was an answered prayer. God knew the moment he was going to take Micah’s spirit up into heaven with himself. He knew how many people were going to take notice of the loss of our friend. God knew every moment. God knew every tear that would be shed for Micah. God knew that this is what would give Himself glory. God is getting the glory and He is fellowshipping with our brother that gave his entire life to him. How amazing, I wish I could be there.

If you didn’t know Micah, read about his story from his perspective and you will see where his heart is – www.micahc4jc.blogspot.com