Quit being a veal

I remember one of my leaders, Miriam Gunn giving this lesson my junior year I think it was. It made so much sense. Baby cows are not able to move much and they are only fed milk. They can’t develop much muscle because of the lack of movement. They are kept in boxes. Miriam said that if you wanted to do a lot for God, you have to break out of your box, build muscle (character) and fight for God. I love God’s analogies that speak to your heart and this is one original one I won’t forget.

This past weekend I had the blessed opportunity to hang out with my friend Katrina. Katrina and I met our freshman year at USU and then became roommates our sophomore year and became inseparable. We were twins. We would go on prayer walks when we would disappear, sometimes jog down town so we could ride the bus back up and we were always centered on Christ in our relationship. Our Junior year, we didn’t live together, but we were still really close. Then we both felt called to project. Without knowing it, we both felt called to go to San Diego. It was God’s plan, not our own. We both applied, we didn’t care whether God kept us together or if we were supposed to go separate ways, but God kept us together. We were so excited; we were high on Jesus the night we both found out we were accepted to the same project. We went tubing with friends who thought we were insane because we were screaming so much. The summer came and we became even closer which is hard to imagine. We had separate experiences, but we would come together and share amazing things God had done.

After project, we were once again separated, but this time, the devil used the separation against us. We have gotten together here and there, but I took advantage of those times. This weekend, I think I realized how much the friendship meant to me. Katrina and I have always had a Christ centered relationship that God used to grow us. Being together brought all that back. I felt truly open again. Katrina reminded me how much God needs me to not be of this world. She reminded me that I like being myself no matter what that is. She reminded me that I want to be a radical Christian because that is what God appointed me as on this earth. We didn’t go into this so much; it is just what I could hear God speaking while I was with her. I am truly amazed at our relationship.

I have to take risks if I am going to be a world changer. I want to make my mark on this world. The past year and a half or more I have been weak and staying in my own box. I have not been trying to get stronger, but trying to please those around me. I know that I sound so pathetic. Can you believe that a day with a friend has pushed me that far to the edge? I want to be on the edge of the world, waiting for God to bring the next step to me, waiting on him for direction, for words. I want God to shine through me, to serve others through me, to befriend others through me, to love the loveless, to pursue the hurting. I want to be a radical as some at my church call it.

I am struggling with my relationship to my local church, but I haven’t heard God call me to anything different. Am I supposed to be there to spread my God given ideas? I am praying about starting a Bible Study in the fall about living out the Christian faith radically. I want it to be men and women together because I think we can gain so much together, but I need to find someone that I trust to lead it with me (male leadership). I was going to do it on Ephesians, but our church is going to do that. So, anyway, I need to leave it in God’s hands. I am also thinking of a Friday fellowship for those that just need somewhere to go and to think, to pray etc. Meeting at Barnes and Noble come as you are. I don’t know, I just don’t want to lose the chance to change the world. Anyone with me?