Let it Go

I am trying to let it go. I know that what I think I have control of is really not under my control but something that God wants me to still give Him. I am trying.

Then there are the things I want. I am controlling those too, but do I stop asking for them or do I keep asking? Do I stand at the door or go away hoping God remembers that I am but a dog at his table?

I want to position myself for ministry and yet I am having these huge struggles. I am really trying to figure out what it means to let the Holy Spirit have control of me.